i dont know. i just dont know.

BOB SAGET

k so this blog has nothing to do with bob saget, its obviously an inside joke.

so, i'm going to mammoth tomorrow and i'm freaking excited to snowboard on some nice, uncrowded [hopefully] slopes. and yeah, lifes been pretty okay to me lately. err yeah its pretty bittersweet

more christ

thats what christmas means right? or at least with a rough translation from spanish to english.

hm... i really think christmas and the whole "holiday spirit" is super overrated lol i mean, i like it, but... whats so GREAT about it?

yeahh, i sound cynical or whatever, but i'm really not haha i just don't get it!

nonetheless, i hope you, whoever is reading this, had a very merry christmas!

k so my whole "new and interesting" ordeal is a fail. because i haven't come across anything interesting to share. and honestly, nobody reads this anyways -______- lol but its okay.

hm... but yeah some people are so ridiculous. like its unbelievable.

but yeah had a freaking hilarious time at pastor eunice's house for the potluck. i never laughed that much or that psychopathically in my life.

then bowling was alright, but the time we spent trying to rescue tims key's was very very interesting hehe.

and yep. saw avatar today, it was freaking amazing, graphically and photographically, but the story was just slightly above average. still pretty good though! 7/10 in my book.

adfjl;kajdcl;k yeahhhhhh this has been a really fun/chill winter break and i've been loving every second of it!

changes

andrew bang: you're supposed to blog about something new or interesting that you find!

so, from now on, i think thats what i'm going to do. haha because nobody really likes to read about my everyday life, yes? so when i find something cool or new or whatever, i'll put it up!

senior year!

this time last year, or any other year before that, i'd normally be freaking out and all stressed and worried about finals. i would've been studying all week long, the week before. i'd be pulling late nighters, trying to cram in that last bit of information. but this year, it feels so surreal and nice, not having to study. while everybody is worried, and their facebook statuses are all about giving up and all that, i'm just having the time of my life haha. this feels nice :D

and its pretty ironic, this one game of madden that i played just now caused me more stress and anxiety than all of my finals this year combined. hehe

so yeah, i've been thinking about college more and more these days. and, i'm not sure where i want to go. my mom asked me, if i were to get into every school, which i'd prefer. and i honestly have NO IDEA. i'm not one of those kids with the dream school or anything, so its pretty confusing.

my choices keep changing, because, its a given that i want to leave the valley. but how far is too far? i mean, UCLA, USC, and Occidental are all colleges i can come on like every weekend. but then UCI, UCSD, and UCSB are the schools that are far enough, but not so close that i can come for no good reason. and then Berkeley, pretty far, but still in Cali. And the east coast schools are the schools where i'd get a completely fresh start, something that seems very appealing to me right now. but in those cases, its like coming home for only the MAJOR events and even if i was super homesick, theres nothing i could do about it y'know?

but on a lighter note, college life seems really fun. i think i'm not gonna eat dorm food so much and i'm gonna try cooking for myself. i'm sure a lot of students say that, but i'm still going to try to!

yep, nobody even blogs or reads these things anymore. i feel schizophrenic writing these things haha, maybe i'll take a break.

its gametime!

it's been so long since i've played this game, but now that i am again... i'm getting it back baby!

im so bamf

so today, i woke up at 5:30, to get to school by 6, because the senior student council was sponsoring a school-wide breakfast that started at 7. so after working, cooking, serving, and cleaning, i was ready to knock out by like 2nd period.and last night, i FINALLY finished all my make up work/notes for bio, so hopefully my grade raises. and calculus, i have a C+, which i can hopefully make a B with the final. all my other classes are pretty solid, so i don't really have to study for anything. cool!

today after school, i hung out with my friends blah blah and then after dinner for my friends birthday, i went over to my friends house for a tradition: we went oranging. so basically, we hide in the bushes on the side of the road, and as cars drive by, we throw squishy oranges and whatever fruits and veggies there are. and if the car stops [they always do] we book it, hide in the bushes, and wait for them to clear out.

today, we hit TWO cars. the first one, like 3 of us hit it, and we all split up, ran like mad, and hid in the bushes. it was raining, so it made it even scarier and ninja-like. the first one, we were hiding, and the car kept driving by and stuff, so we had to split up and it got really scary. i had to get all ninja and get back to my friends truck. as we were going to it though, we reached a very open stretch of the street. so we just pretended to walk casually, but when i looked behind, there was a guy following us on foot! so we sprinted and everybody got in and we took off in the car. i was the only one in the truck bed, so i was holding on for dear life as we went around the block and made some turns. then, my friends thought it'd be a brilliant idea to do it again. so we did... haha and this time, my friend [a baseball player] threw a hard orange at an SUV and it made a loud noise.

this time, i didn't even look back to see if the car stopped, i just took off running. we stuck as a group in this huge clump of bushes, and the car stopped on the other side of the street, RIGHT in front of us! i was so scared and felt so guilty, cause it must suck for the owner of the car, and i mean, if i got caught, thats GG for me.

after waiting 20 minutes in the mud and rain, the car drove away, and we realized it was one of those handicap-aiding cars. so yep that was my day! i feel sick now

the window is open

so, i lied on my past blog post, i'm in love, with TWO entities. one of them, is a mystery, but the other one is monday night tv. so every monday, i come home, change and make myself some food. after eating, i do homework or whatever academic thing i need to do. then at 5:30, monday night football starts. yep, go vikings! even though they lost to the cards... sigh so disappointing. and... i forgot how much i loved the show "How I Met Your Mother." [thanks to julie for getting me into it!] if you have not, or do not, watch the show, i HIGHLY HIGHLY suggest you start, it is great. i love how the show is able to perfectly marry hilarious comedy, romantic love, earthly wisdom, and devout friendship. i wish i lived in that show...

and gossip girl, its alright prettty intense these days.


if you're not scared, you're not taking a chance. and if you're not taking a chance, what the hell are you doing?
-ted moseby, my hero

let's see... on saturday i had to wake up freaking early for a freaking bio lab, freaking. but on a good note, it ended 2 hours earlier than expected, so i went home and ate taco bell and what not. and then while putting up christmas lights with my family, jacob called me to hang out with andrew and david. so once jacob picks me up, he tells me we're going to the twins house (andrew's friends, not mine) and yeah went there and just fooled around with a toy gun and played soul cailber. and thennnnn jacob josh and i went to americana to meet up with wayne, david and arthur. we ate in n out and arthur and dani went "shopping" but didn't buy anything and then... we had some difficulty finding directions and stuff, but finally got to waynes house where we just chilled and wayne started attacking people. and um yeah... thats sort of it. sunday was the usual and our fail christmas presentation practice. and...

i think i'm in love! hahaha

pity the fool

okay, so when i got to school today, i reached into my pocket to take my phone out, but GASP! it wasn't there! i then realized that i had, in my rush to get to school, left my phone on my desk! so the whole day i felt really empty and like... naked without it haha i guess thats pretty pathetic considering that just because i didn't have my phone with me, i was like freaking out. show's how dependent society, or at least me forsure, is on their technology.

ANDDD on an even more pathetic note, i was thinking to myself throughout the day "man i bet the people i didn't text back are gonna think i'm a jerk or something." but when i got home, i only had one text, and it was from my sister. so yep, i cried because i realized nobody loved me. the end!

and i have one more week of school left before finals, and then one week of finals, then winter break. so in this one week of school, i have to raise my bio grade... FML so much to do, so little time...

drama king

i just realized today how dramatic i am lol (yeah yeah you guys are probably thinking, you JUST found out?!) but yeah i was just listening to music and walking around my neighborhood and i don't know why i never thought like this before but honestly... all the stuff that happens is no biggie, y'know? haha and my friends and family (sort of) totally make up for any crap some douchebag can do to me. and there's so much more to life and seriously jon, its not the end of the effing world, grow a pair. mhmm thats pretty much it. had an okay day today. by the way, i freaking HATE public speaking. i can talk perfectly fine in class, but when i have to get up and say something, i totally freeze up. mhm

and i just like this picture so i'm putting it up, cause maybe you guys will too. it's pretty appropriate for what i wrote up there ^




this just in:
i, along with sam bae, am this years turkey bowl mvp! thanks daniel, thanks everybody else, couldn't have done it without y'all. mannnnn, this is exciting

y'know that one katy perry song, hot n cold? yeah thats pretty much how things are for me right about now

my back is killing me. i can't move my wrist. my thighs, groin, and knees hurt so badly i can't move or walk. my cuts burn every time water or clothes touch them. but its okay, we're the champs. we're #1. all day, EVERYDAY.

thanksgiving eve

so... woke up freaking early to head up to mountain high. pit stop at mcdonalds to grab some breakfast and then straight to the summit! the wait wasn't too long, not that crowded, snow wasn't too bad, so an all around pretty good day. on the way home, we stopped by at my friends pizzeria for some bomb sandwiches, pasta, and hot wings. i wish my parents owned a restaurant so i could work there and stuff. and i have a new favorite city: sierra madre. it has that small-town, very quaint feeling. the narrow, shop-lined streets, with banners running above them. i think i'd like to live somewhere like that when i grow older. on the way home, listened to music and had a singing contest lol major fail. came home and chilled with josh and jacob just doing whatever and watching tv. after they left, i headed over to watch people play basketball and just chat with josh. now i'm home, semi-packing and wondering if i should sleep becuase i have to wake up at like 4 in the morning tomorrow to go to freaking pismo beach. and due to this family trip, i'll be missing the traditional thanksgiving dinner and black friday shopping. sigh. oh well turkey bowl is coming up. i'm pumped! confident, but not cocky. humble, but not hesitant. nervous, but not anxious.
and since i won't be online to post a thanksgiving blog tomorrow...


have a happy thanksgiving all... 2?3? of you who actually read my blog lol. i'm thankful for you guys, even if you don't even read my posts, it still makes me feel loved to have any followers at all, even though i don't really do it for the audience... yeahhh adios

bittersweet, again

so on the very bright side: I turned in my UC and USC apps today!
the very dark side: i forgot to list football in my uc app.

FML UGHHHHH i'm so stupid damnit ads flakfjal;ekcj3908afj;klsl;kcax

my day today

was actually pretty good! went to school a little early to help with Operation Christmas Child (this pretty cool charity thing my school does every year). class... was the usual, nothing exciting or new. afterschool i went to smart&final w/ jacob and josh (shout out to josh by the way, for discovering my blog) to pick up some stuff for the senior bbq we're doing tomorrow. then after we dropped the stuff off and went over to joshs house. watched josh get kicked in the balls by his brother so that we could play Call of Duty. freaking hilarious. then we got hungry so we went to chipotle, which i didn't eat in a long time, and yep. then went back to josh's house and jacob left and me and josh continued to play xbox. but while we were on the way to chipotle, we hit some pretty rough traffic, we were practically at a stand still. then i got picked up and went to joann's which dbyun then the football meeting@ wvc. i'm happy with the rules and i'm pretty freaking excited to finally get to play! november 28, be there!

when we were just sitting in josh's car listening to john mayer and just talking. and it hit me. for the first time since middle school, i had that one close knit group of friends at school. like this year, its been really fun just hanging out with friends randomly after school and all that. its a shame i realized the importance of school friends this late into my high school life. i guess i'll just make up now for the time i lost the past 3 years.

and... tomorrow is my last day of school before a full week off for thanksgiving break, so naturally, i'm pretty freaking happy. then after school, i have college essay classes, which i actually enjoy. then gonna watch i love you, man @ church with jane while the praise team practices. then church and whatever it is p.e has in store for us. and thennn.... drum roll please.... football lockin! gonna be fun watching remember the titans, playing parking lot football and just chilling at church and bonding with the other guys and the 3 girls lol and then saturday is homeless feeding which i'm actually excited for lol. note to self: don't wear blue or red.

and sunday itself should be relaxing and fun and stress free

monday/tuesday: no plans, but who cares, no school!

wednesday: snowboarding baby!

thursday-friday: family trip to pismo beach.

saturday- turkey bowl!


and yep. this is the first time in a LONG time that i've been this excited for anything. i need to stop being so pessimistic lol

never

EVER go all in. unless you're 100% sure you're gonna win.

so...

had a chill time with wayne and tim last night, shopping and watching a movie. a tradition we haven't done in a while, too busy with school stuff. but as senior year rapidly approaches a close, seems pretty surreal, that all the people that are around me now, won't be for long. damn. yeah, wayne and tim forced me to watch the fourth kind last night, i almost peed myself cause i thought it was gonna be so scary. they both weren't scared at all and were disappointed. the movie was jumpy, but in the long run, i wasn't too scared, although it made me think quite a bit.

then yep, today was nothing out of the ordinary, practice was tiring and what not. afterwards, my parents were out so i had to buy myself dinner. after dropping jane and david off, i went to jamba juice for a strawberries wild. refreshing as usual. and then i went across the street to L&L to get some food. oh man, so amazing. then i plopped down in front of the tv on the couch with my food, and watched some sunday night football.

now of course as usual, comes the sentimental side of my entry.

so these past few days, weeks, months, or however long its been, i've been doing pretty well with this thing. but this past weekend and especially today, it feels like i'm losing the battle. i'm not so confident in myself or so comfortable in my own skin. maybe its the thought that i'm gonna be leaving the valley soon [hopefully?] that makes me feel uneasy. its just... my mind can't help but wander, to the past, present, and future. i'll get through this, i'm sure. or i hope.

oh and on a lighter, but still somewhat sentimental, note, schools alright. don't really care about the academic stuff, but its been good finally getting into school spirit. actually going to events, cheering for my school team, and stuff, feels good. hanging out with my school friends and getting closer to them, its been good for me. and jacob, who thankfully won't read this, we've been "best friends" for a while. but this year, its like we got a lot closer, chilling and stuff. good stuff.

why is it that its the guys that ALWAYS have to text or call or message first...
and women fight for equality, pfttt -_-

What i want to be when i grow up

I want to be that chill dad that's cool to talk to y'know? like in all those movies and tv shows, where the dad [usually white] is all funny and hip and stuff haha. i want to be able to spoil my kids without having them be spoiled. be stern, yet lax at the same time.

what i DON'T want to be when i grow up is the typical asian parent. i mean, i'm not hating on my culture, but i mean, after 17 years, it gets pretty tedious... like how they emphasize all the academically related stuff unreasonably. i mean yeah, its important, but there's so much more to life than just that.

maybe i'm talking like this just because i'm biased but... yeah haha as of now, thats how i feel.

and this isn't really venting, just something i noticed. i really really really really really really x1000000 don't like it when people just stop replying to me out of nowhere... like whether it be on text, facebook, aim or whatever. i mean if you want to end the conversation or not talk anymore, okay, fine with me, say bye, give me a dead reply but don't just leave me hanging without a reply at all -_- mann that gets on my nerves lol

my fudd-tastic day

so it is 8:28 PM and i just got home a couple minutes ago. and i am tiredddd, mentally and physically. last night, i got home from a fun night at like... 12:20'ish and when i went to bed, i didn't fall asleep for like 2 hours... so i basically got like 4 hours of sleep, blehh. today, woke up early, praise practice, church, and then football practice. dudeeeee so tired and when we scrimmaged i was already dead soo... yeah. we did pretty badly and i take most of the blame cause i was not throwing well or anything. fml.

and then after, fuddruckers with wayne tim josh arthur justin and dani for joshiks birthday. freaking amazing omfg. then we walked around @ the mall for a bit, and free frozen yogurt! then went home and yep.

i've noticed that my blogspot has been, what daniel would say, a ventspot. and thats not cool, cause nobody likes reading about a sad dudes life haha and i no longer want to be that person. so yep change of attitude as well as a change of blog.

btw, no school tomorrow! YESSS

title-less

So today was pretty much the average school day. Well, in government we voted on our class superlatives, and people told me they voted me for best smile. What the heck were they thinking... 'cause i mean:
1. i don't have the most perfect teeth
2. there are wayyyyy more people with nicer smiles
3. i can't even smile on purpose...

weird stuff. then after school, nothing much, i just came home, made myself some food, ate, and then came into my room and pretty much wasted some more time doing nothing.

But at around 6, I decided to go to the Porter Ranch library so I could study for my SAT2 in peace and quiet. But instead of being alone and studious, I ended up sitting with David and Andrew. But, I didn't mind one bit, it was chill just sitting with them joking around and getting a bit of work done.

I then came home to a very sick mom, which meant that I had to go out to dinner with my dad and sister. And out of nowhere, I got this really eerie feeling, like I didn't feel right anywhere, not even in my own skin. I don't know, it's not even like i'm depressed or anything, its just simply strange...

But yeah, we'll see how the rest of the week goes.


oh and the whole "at peace" thing apparently wasn't as true as i thought. i probably seem really bipolar and indecisive but yeah, i was just being naive, and i guess this is the real way i should be going. i'm going to try and reduce bitterness, but that doesn't mean i'm gonna give in. some people just make me mad and sick to my stomach all the time

hmm

yeah so i think i'm at peace now. i'm going to go with the flow and just let things unfold by themselves. and with _______, i'm just not gonna act on my feelings and let that go however it goes too.

only thing i have to focus on now is sat 2's and apps, afl;kejq;o4c8asdlk

lol.

i think i'm sprung. but its okay, i'm going to get myself out!

lol.

i think i'm sprung. but its okay, i'm going to get myself out!

tyJ

i know these past few months i've been pretty mope-y and "emo" and my previous entries have been pretty dreadful. but man that all changed today.

Thank you Jesus! i sometimes forget how blessed i am and how much he does for me and how faithful he is and how reliable he is. mannnnnnnn am i in a good mood right now

shout out to daniel and julie, the only people who read this hahaha

today, i had to get to school by 6 to set up for our second senior breakfast, which meant i had to wake up by 5. but due to my fear of being late and being yelled at, i woke up at 3 and wasn't able to go back to sleep... so i was incredibly tired throughout the day, even though i slept in like 3 classes.

i really like the cold weather, i just recently realized. i always said i was the summer type of person, and i am, i just like the cold at the same time. the reason i didn't like the cold was because i didn't like wearing long pants haha, but now, i'm more comfortable with them. but, i still hate the wind.

time to catch up on bio homework since i have a D in the class. then sat 2 studying and college apps. oh boy!

;lakdsmc

you know, i honestly don't think anybody even reads this blog, but honestly, i don't really mind it one bit. i sort of like just putting my thoughts out there, even if nobody is there to read them.

hm... so my life feels pretty empty these past few days/weeks/maybe even months. i don't know what the missing thing is. it's not like anything important changed or disappeared. its just... i feel alone like even though at school and church i have friends and people to talk to, but i just don't feel right in my own skin. hmm weird.

i feel as if there is no peace within me. like theres so much unresolved conflicts inside of me and so many things i haven't been able to forget or forgive. and all that bitterness is just brewing up in me, and is eating me from the inside out. and i've tried to be at peace with myself and the world, but nothing seems to work. i don't know... i need help.

and with girls... i think i completely give up. i don't think i was meant to be married... nothing ever seems to work out haha, i always misunderstand or something. strange. but i guess there's nothing wrong with just being friends with girls, since i'm probably leaving this godforsaken valley next year, it probably wouldn't work out anyways. but still, i refuse to completely give up hope.

if my heart were a compass
you would be north
if my heart was a house
you'd be at home

no titles come to my mind

hm... so i was super tired when i woke up today and i felt like crap the whole day and when i finally fell asleep in government, my head felt like it was getting crushed after i woke up. and yeah... i resolved to be productive today and actually stop being lazy and do my work, but once again, fail...

um lets see after school was nothing special, mnf was pretty boring to watch and i am currently watching gossip girl, which is gonna end at 10... i hope i can fall asleep quickly so i won't feel like crap tomorrow again.

and now that sat 2's are coming up my dads telling me to go into lockdown mode again, which means no going out or anything. which is freaking gay, its just 1 test... and all this was at dinner, and he goes into his whole college/career talk. and i hate that, how he always has to bring that up whenever we talk, and its ONLY that.

and halloween's this saturday but i don't even know whats going on... since everybody already has plans, i guess i'm just going to candyland... i sort of wanted to just go out or something but oh well, its better than nothing.

if only i could do something with you.

bittersweet

what is it with you that makes me smile so stupidly while i drive around in my soccer mom van. what is it about you that floods my daily thoughts. what is so special about you that makes me feel so differently about everything and everyone. but then again, after the sweetness fades, the bitter seeps in, as always. the smiles turn to frowns. and the laughs turns to sighs.

damnit, why do i always end up in this situation.

hello

so since xanga, i never really blogged consistently... lol i think i'll start again. so hm... i just watched The Proposal, finally, for the first time. And... everyone hyped it up so much, i'm not saying its good, but it wasn't as AMAZING as everybody said it was. hmm yeah i think i want to move to alaska though. thats it for now!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------okay so now its 5:53, about 4 hours after my previous entry. so i went to the hospital to visit gina and was there for like 2 and a half hours. and then me and wayne were supposed to go out with josh and justin and watch a movie and shop and what not but my mom got all mad and whatever so now i'm home. gay stuff.

andddddd i'm so stupid, i should've known, it wasn't the way i thought it was. man i hate this feeling, it sucks.