y'know that one katy perry song, hot n cold? yeah thats pretty much how things are for me right about now

my back is killing me. i can't move my wrist. my thighs, groin, and knees hurt so badly i can't move or walk. my cuts burn every time water or clothes touch them. but its okay, we're the champs. we're #1. all day, EVERYDAY.

thanksgiving eve

so... woke up freaking early to head up to mountain high. pit stop at mcdonalds to grab some breakfast and then straight to the summit! the wait wasn't too long, not that crowded, snow wasn't too bad, so an all around pretty good day. on the way home, we stopped by at my friends pizzeria for some bomb sandwiches, pasta, and hot wings. i wish my parents owned a restaurant so i could work there and stuff. and i have a new favorite city: sierra madre. it has that small-town, very quaint feeling. the narrow, shop-lined streets, with banners running above them. i think i'd like to live somewhere like that when i grow older. on the way home, listened to music and had a singing contest lol major fail. came home and chilled with josh and jacob just doing whatever and watching tv. after they left, i headed over to watch people play basketball and just chat with josh. now i'm home, semi-packing and wondering if i should sleep becuase i have to wake up at like 4 in the morning tomorrow to go to freaking pismo beach. and due to this family trip, i'll be missing the traditional thanksgiving dinner and black friday shopping. sigh. oh well turkey bowl is coming up. i'm pumped! confident, but not cocky. humble, but not hesitant. nervous, but not anxious.
and since i won't be online to post a thanksgiving blog tomorrow...


have a happy thanksgiving all... 2?3? of you who actually read my blog lol. i'm thankful for you guys, even if you don't even read my posts, it still makes me feel loved to have any followers at all, even though i don't really do it for the audience... yeahhh adios

bittersweet, again

so on the very bright side: I turned in my UC and USC apps today!
the very dark side: i forgot to list football in my uc app.

FML UGHHHHH i'm so stupid damnit ads flakfjal;ekcj3908afj;klsl;kcax

my day today

was actually pretty good! went to school a little early to help with Operation Christmas Child (this pretty cool charity thing my school does every year). class... was the usual, nothing exciting or new. afterschool i went to smart&final w/ jacob and josh (shout out to josh by the way, for discovering my blog) to pick up some stuff for the senior bbq we're doing tomorrow. then after we dropped the stuff off and went over to joshs house. watched josh get kicked in the balls by his brother so that we could play Call of Duty. freaking hilarious. then we got hungry so we went to chipotle, which i didn't eat in a long time, and yep. then went back to josh's house and jacob left and me and josh continued to play xbox. but while we were on the way to chipotle, we hit some pretty rough traffic, we were practically at a stand still. then i got picked up and went to joann's which dbyun then the football meeting@ wvc. i'm happy with the rules and i'm pretty freaking excited to finally get to play! november 28, be there!

when we were just sitting in josh's car listening to john mayer and just talking. and it hit me. for the first time since middle school, i had that one close knit group of friends at school. like this year, its been really fun just hanging out with friends randomly after school and all that. its a shame i realized the importance of school friends this late into my high school life. i guess i'll just make up now for the time i lost the past 3 years.

and... tomorrow is my last day of school before a full week off for thanksgiving break, so naturally, i'm pretty freaking happy. then after school, i have college essay classes, which i actually enjoy. then gonna watch i love you, man @ church with jane while the praise team practices. then church and whatever it is p.e has in store for us. and thennn.... drum roll please.... football lockin! gonna be fun watching remember the titans, playing parking lot football and just chilling at church and bonding with the other guys and the 3 girls lol and then saturday is homeless feeding which i'm actually excited for lol. note to self: don't wear blue or red.

and sunday itself should be relaxing and fun and stress free

monday/tuesday: no plans, but who cares, no school!

wednesday: snowboarding baby!

thursday-friday: family trip to pismo beach.

saturday- turkey bowl!


and yep. this is the first time in a LONG time that i've been this excited for anything. i need to stop being so pessimistic lol

never

EVER go all in. unless you're 100% sure you're gonna win.

so...

had a chill time with wayne and tim last night, shopping and watching a movie. a tradition we haven't done in a while, too busy with school stuff. but as senior year rapidly approaches a close, seems pretty surreal, that all the people that are around me now, won't be for long. damn. yeah, wayne and tim forced me to watch the fourth kind last night, i almost peed myself cause i thought it was gonna be so scary. they both weren't scared at all and were disappointed. the movie was jumpy, but in the long run, i wasn't too scared, although it made me think quite a bit.

then yep, today was nothing out of the ordinary, practice was tiring and what not. afterwards, my parents were out so i had to buy myself dinner. after dropping jane and david off, i went to jamba juice for a strawberries wild. refreshing as usual. and then i went across the street to L&L to get some food. oh man, so amazing. then i plopped down in front of the tv on the couch with my food, and watched some sunday night football.

now of course as usual, comes the sentimental side of my entry.

so these past few days, weeks, months, or however long its been, i've been doing pretty well with this thing. but this past weekend and especially today, it feels like i'm losing the battle. i'm not so confident in myself or so comfortable in my own skin. maybe its the thought that i'm gonna be leaving the valley soon [hopefully?] that makes me feel uneasy. its just... my mind can't help but wander, to the past, present, and future. i'll get through this, i'm sure. or i hope.

oh and on a lighter, but still somewhat sentimental, note, schools alright. don't really care about the academic stuff, but its been good finally getting into school spirit. actually going to events, cheering for my school team, and stuff, feels good. hanging out with my school friends and getting closer to them, its been good for me. and jacob, who thankfully won't read this, we've been "best friends" for a while. but this year, its like we got a lot closer, chilling and stuff. good stuff.

why is it that its the guys that ALWAYS have to text or call or message first...
and women fight for equality, pfttt -_-

What i want to be when i grow up

I want to be that chill dad that's cool to talk to y'know? like in all those movies and tv shows, where the dad [usually white] is all funny and hip and stuff haha. i want to be able to spoil my kids without having them be spoiled. be stern, yet lax at the same time.

what i DON'T want to be when i grow up is the typical asian parent. i mean, i'm not hating on my culture, but i mean, after 17 years, it gets pretty tedious... like how they emphasize all the academically related stuff unreasonably. i mean yeah, its important, but there's so much more to life than just that.

maybe i'm talking like this just because i'm biased but... yeah haha as of now, thats how i feel.

and this isn't really venting, just something i noticed. i really really really really really really x1000000 don't like it when people just stop replying to me out of nowhere... like whether it be on text, facebook, aim or whatever. i mean if you want to end the conversation or not talk anymore, okay, fine with me, say bye, give me a dead reply but don't just leave me hanging without a reply at all -_- mann that gets on my nerves lol

my fudd-tastic day

so it is 8:28 PM and i just got home a couple minutes ago. and i am tiredddd, mentally and physically. last night, i got home from a fun night at like... 12:20'ish and when i went to bed, i didn't fall asleep for like 2 hours... so i basically got like 4 hours of sleep, blehh. today, woke up early, praise practice, church, and then football practice. dudeeeee so tired and when we scrimmaged i was already dead soo... yeah. we did pretty badly and i take most of the blame cause i was not throwing well or anything. fml.

and then after, fuddruckers with wayne tim josh arthur justin and dani for joshiks birthday. freaking amazing omfg. then we walked around @ the mall for a bit, and free frozen yogurt! then went home and yep.

i've noticed that my blogspot has been, what daniel would say, a ventspot. and thats not cool, cause nobody likes reading about a sad dudes life haha and i no longer want to be that person. so yep change of attitude as well as a change of blog.

btw, no school tomorrow! YESSS

title-less

So today was pretty much the average school day. Well, in government we voted on our class superlatives, and people told me they voted me for best smile. What the heck were they thinking... 'cause i mean:
1. i don't have the most perfect teeth
2. there are wayyyyy more people with nicer smiles
3. i can't even smile on purpose...

weird stuff. then after school, nothing much, i just came home, made myself some food, ate, and then came into my room and pretty much wasted some more time doing nothing.

But at around 6, I decided to go to the Porter Ranch library so I could study for my SAT2 in peace and quiet. But instead of being alone and studious, I ended up sitting with David and Andrew. But, I didn't mind one bit, it was chill just sitting with them joking around and getting a bit of work done.

I then came home to a very sick mom, which meant that I had to go out to dinner with my dad and sister. And out of nowhere, I got this really eerie feeling, like I didn't feel right anywhere, not even in my own skin. I don't know, it's not even like i'm depressed or anything, its just simply strange...

But yeah, we'll see how the rest of the week goes.


oh and the whole "at peace" thing apparently wasn't as true as i thought. i probably seem really bipolar and indecisive but yeah, i was just being naive, and i guess this is the real way i should be going. i'm going to try and reduce bitterness, but that doesn't mean i'm gonna give in. some people just make me mad and sick to my stomach all the time

hmm

yeah so i think i'm at peace now. i'm going to go with the flow and just let things unfold by themselves. and with _______, i'm just not gonna act on my feelings and let that go however it goes too.

only thing i have to focus on now is sat 2's and apps, afl;kejq;o4c8asdlk

lol.

i think i'm sprung. but its okay, i'm going to get myself out!

lol.

i think i'm sprung. but its okay, i'm going to get myself out!